Why Do We Cry?

Clients often wonder about why they cry. They make statements like:

“Haven’t I cried enough? I should be over it. I should be able to move on.”
“I cry over the silliest things.”
“I get too emotional and the tears just roll down my face.”
“I cry when I should be happy at celebrations.”
“I cry when I feel spiritual.”
“I cry when I think about my mortality.”
“I cry when I feel scared. I think I’m so childish when I cry.”

Crying is a universal human behavior. Although we often associate crying with sadness
and depression, crying is psychologically based. It can be both expressive and
therapeutically soothing. From infancy through adulthood, crying includes biology,
emotions, social interactions, and cultural conditioning.

Tears are nonverbal communication They can elicit sympathy, support, understanding,
and even rejection. Babies cry to let parents know they are hungry, need diaper
changing, for bonding desires, and for distress. Adults cry to express deep emotion and
elicit compassion, yet responses differ by personality, context and norms.
It is interesting how different cultures shape crying. Some cultures deem public crying
as a display of weakness, especially in men, while others consider it healthy. Depending
on divergent reactions, some people learn to suppress their tears, which can result in
psychological distress over time.

According to Christina Parker, Ph.D. “Crying usually tells us what we care about and
what we need, especially when we are unable to articulate those needs and values
verbally.” (June, 2024)

Tears are not only a response to emotional or physical pain; they can also be related to
deep insight or meaningful transformation, i.e. tears that reflect beauty and gratefulness.
Consider, for example, the overwhelming feeling when one receives a marriage
proposal, accepts an award, watches their teen graduate high school, or holds a
grand-baby for the first time. Tears can flow.

If you think you cry more than you would like, it might be time to talk to a psychologist.
“Emotional tears are not a sign of weakness, nor is seeing a mental health
professional.” (January, 2025) Talking to a mental health professional can help you gain
clarity and understand different perspectives of your stressor. A psychologist may be
able to help you learn coping strategies to be able to manage your tears more effectively.
Breathing techniques, grounding exercises and meditation practices can be
beneficial. These strategies are basically stress-management techniques. One other
very important ingredient is to get ample sleep. We often feel much more emotional and
sensitive when we have insufficient sleep.

 Tears can be the language of emotions that words do not express.

References:
Why do we cry? UAB psychologist explores the science and psychology behind crying.
News You Can Use. (June, 2024).
Crying. Cleveland Clinic. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/crying. (January,
2025).