Stress and Holiday Expectations

My psychology clients often report that they feel overwhelmed by holiday stressors.
According to Matthew Scult, Ph.D. (2024), “The holiday season can bring as much
stress as it does joy.” This is true whether you celebrate Hanukkah or Christmas.
Between gift-buying, travel, cooking, and social expectations, the pressure to create a
“perfect” holiday can overshadow the meaning of the season. Yet with a more mindful
approach, both Christmas and Hanukkah can be celebrated in ways that are joyful,
meaningful, and low-cost—without sacrificing the traditions that make them special.

How can I accomplish this?
Step One: Consider the fundamental values associated with each holiday. Hanukkah
celebrates resilience, hope, and the miracle of light, while Christmas is grounded in
themes of generosity, compassion, and reflection. By focusing on these principles, the
holidays can become more about celebrating values and less about material
expectations, thus more affordable. If you focus on simple rituals like lighting candles,
reading meaningful stories, sharing a meal, or volunteering as a family, you can create
lasting memories that cost little or nothing. Be honest with yourself about how much
time, energy, and finances you can or want to expend.

What about gift giving?
Step Two: Probably the biggest source of holiday expense and stress relates to gift
giving. There are ways to rectify this problem. Stick to a budget and avoid credit card
debt. Volunteering as a family enriches yourselves and others. Some families simplify a
gift exchange by drawing the name of one person to gift and agree on a price limit.
Some people give homemade items like baked treats, candles, knitted items or framed
photographs, which may seem more heartfelt than store-bought items. If you celebrate
8 nights of Hanukkah, consider exchanging notes of appreciation, playing the dreidel
game, or doing a shared activity or craft—different for each night. Rather than
purchasing gifts, plan experiences like walking through a winter wonderland at a zoo or
driving to neighborhoods that are bright with decorative lights. By being creative, you
can preserve tradition without straining the budget.

How can I handle holiday cooking more efficiently?
Step Three: Food traditions also play a central role in both holidays, but festive meals
do not have to be elaborate or expensive to be meaningful. Suppose you plan a potluck
dinner where everyone contributes a dish—even the children. Just being festive for
Christmas can be as special as a lavish spread. Cooking latkes (potato pancakes)
maintains the Hanukkah tradition yet can be prepared with inexpensive ingredients.
Cooking together fosters connection and shared holiday joy.

Are there alternatives to travelling during the holidays?
Step Four: Travel is expensive and often chaotic during the holidays. Airline tickets
are expensive and are responsible for potential delays. There could be inclement
weather like possible blizzards to drive through. Although it might be disappointing,
maybe this time of year is better-suited for local visits, saving long-distance travel for
more affordable times and better weather. A good alternative for many people is virtual
contacts. This saves the financial and logistical toll of holiday travel.

Is it possible to set realistic expectations for the holidays?
Step Five: It is important to be aware of your limits and permit yourself to set
boundaries. Establishing realistic expectations is one of the most powerful ways to
create a low-stress holiday season. Social obligations can feel very heavy. Feeling
pressured to perfectly decorate or host the best celebrations are not the underpinnings
of genuine happiness. Rather, select a few meaningful traditions like lighting the
menorah, watching a classic Christmas movie, or sharing an enjoyable game night.

►In the spirit of Hanukkah and Christmas, random acts of kindness are the least
stressful and most affordable.

Reference: M. Scult. How to handle holiday stress. Psychology Today.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-big-reframe/202212/how-handle-holiday-
stress. (Sept, 2024).